Slipping

Hmm...I only have two followers so for anyone new who starts following i guess i should start from the beginging.... I am a almost 22 year old female recovery from anorexia, bulimia, and self-harm. I have severe depression and anxiety and ADHD. Makes it super hard to concentrate when i'm always finding something to distract me.. ooh! cheeseballs!... lol
Well as my blog says... one day at a time. That's how it's been. Until now. I'm slipping.. I'm getting very depressed again. I'm learning what my triggers are and i'm trying to catch myself before I completely relapse again.. And thats exactly what i'm doing. I went to my fiancee and I told him i'm feeling depressed. I'm feeling the overwhelming urge to cut. It's soooo strong. Like this morning I failed a pop quiz in my american Gov't class. What did I want to do? CUT! BUT I DID NOT! But cutting is such a release. Such a punishment. It makes me feel alive. It makes me have phyical pain instead of this emotional pain bull crap.
I can't go down this road again. My fiancee can't go down this road agin either. He gets scared and can't deal with it. I don't know how i got so lucky to get him anyway. He is truely a miricle. I love him with all my heart. He's definitely my better half.
For now I keep on pushing on...  One (BABY0 step at a time!